We need to define the boundaries of what is permitted: a psychologist friend told me what needs to be done to prevent a breakup. I was surprised by some of the advice

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We need to define the boundaries of what is permitted: a psychologist friend told me what needs to be done to prevent a breakup. I was surprised by some of the advice
We need to define the boundaries of what is permitted: a psychologist friend told me what needs to be done to prevent a breakup. I was surprised by some of the advice
Anonim

Every relationship has its ups and downs. How to cope with the crisis and survive difficult times without parting with your loved one? Like any other woman, I have always been interested in these questions. I decided to find out the answers to them from my friend, who works as a psychologist. Surprisingly, she said that there are many ways to prevent a breakup and build relationships.

Stop constantly saying you're fine

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Closing in on yourself is the worst option for the development of relationships, which sooner or later will lead to their end. You must be honest and open with each other. Do not say that everything is always fine with you. If your loved one asks you how you feel, try to tell him how you feel.

If you keep silent about your dissatisfaction, it will not disappear anywhere and will continue to accumulate. You can put off a fight, but you can't avoid it. It's best to speak up right away, rather than accumulate annoyance in yourself. The sooner you share a problem with your loved one, the sooner you will solve it.

Don't get caught up in routine

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Routine can destroy even the strongest relationships. At some point, you just start living on autopilot, because you have a loved one, a family, a job, children. Life quickly bothers, the routine provokes the appearance of irritation. You may find yourself thinking that you no longer love your partner as much as you used to. Diversify your life if you want to save relationships.

Be honest with each other more often

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Communication is an important part of any relationship. As soon as you stop talking heart to heart with your partner, you will gradually begin to move away from each other. Share your opinion with him and always ask him what he thinks on any issue. If you've seen the movie, find out if he liked it. If not, then ask why. Discuss the news happening around you, everyday issues. Talk about what you don't like and how to improve your relationship.

Step out of your comfort zone

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Routine is destructive, to get rid of it, you must first get out of your comfort zone. Of course, it's always nice to stay at home on the weekends, but try to diversify your leisure time. Go for a walk where you haven't been before. Go to a new restaurant or take a trip to a nearby town. Try new things with your loved one, it will help you build relationships and become more open with each other.

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Traveling, hiking in nature always leave behind a lot of pleasant memories that can be discussed with a partner. The more there are, the better for the relationship. Plan your free time so that you spend it more often with your loved one.

Leaving the comfort zone is difficult, our brain resists this, because it feels safe in it. If your loved one does not share your initiative, try to talk to him. Ask him what he would like to do on the weekend, consider not only your own, but also his desires.

Leave your past in the past

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Forgetting the past is a difficult task. We can't control our feelings, and bad memories still hurt us. But you must let go of your past grievances if you don't want them to hurt you in the future. If you want to prevent a breakup, focus on existing grievances. Stop stirring up the past, you won't change it anyway. But it is in your power to influence the present, so take care of the current problems.

Set achievable goals

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Every couple that has been dating for a long time, sooner or later, should have common goals. These may be short-term plans, such as a trip to the sea next summer or buying a new TV. Long-term goals are also important. You should know what your loved one plans for the future. Where does he see himself in 5 years? Do you want to have children by this time? Maybe the partner plans to buy an apartment or even move to another city? You too have a say, so don't be afraid to discuss future plans. Common goals strengthen relationships, make partners reckon with each other's opinion and treat it with respect.

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Chat with other people more often

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When you are in a long-term relationship, you gradually lose contact with your distant acquaintances. There is less and less time for them, so you stop communicating with them, limiting yourself to rare meetings with your best friends. Doing so is not worth it. If you stop interacting with other people, you will get bogged down much faster.

You don't have to go to meetings alone. Take your loved one with you, introduce him to your friends. Do not lock yourself in on each other, otherwise you will quickly get bored. Constantly try to diversify your life together and communicate more with other people.

Set boundaries

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If the relationship is in crisis, both lovers probably have a lot of claims to each other. Stop constantly remembering them, by doing this you only aggravate the situation. Instead, try to define the boundaries of what is permitted and do not cross them even during serious quarrels. The rules must be followed not only by your partner, but also by yourself. Both parties should start working on themselves in order to maintain the relationship.

Forgive each other's mistakes

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Forgiving a loved one is always difficult. In addition, this should be done only if the partner sincerely repents of his deed. Sometimes it takes time to forgive insults, but you should not chop off your shoulder. It's okay to be angry, offended, and withdrawing from a relationship at first. But think about how you can get rid of bad memories instead of dwelling on them. Tell your loved one that what happened made you very upset. Perhaps his remorse and apology will comfort you and help you forget the offense.

Respect your partner and their needs

Mutual respect can heal even the most hopeless relationship. First of all, it is built on the understanding that your loved one is a separate person with their own desires and needs. To improve relations, you need to learn how to openly talk with him about problems and be able to compromise. Respect your personal space and trust your loved one.

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