They don't want to deal with the breakup process: why couples agree to a toxic relationship

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They don't want to deal with the breakup process: why couples agree to a toxic relationship
They don't want to deal with the breakup process: why couples agree to a toxic relationship
Anonim

It's always hard to part with someone you love, even if you're in a toxic relationship that doesn't bring you happiness. It seems that these are only temporary difficulties, after which life will definitely get better. Have you met couples who constantly quarrel, but still do not break up? Sometimes it's hard to decide to break up. Here are some of the most common reasons why couples stay in a toxic relationship.

Fear of being alone

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Loneliness is one of the biggest fears of any person. People continue to tolerate toxic relationships because they are afraid of being alone. They don't believe they can find a better alternative. Society encourages fear by creating stereotypes. It is believed that a person over 25 must be in a serious relationship, otherwise he misses a lot in life. This is why people tolerate toxic partners even though they don't feel happy with them.

Partners are used to toxicity

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If a person grows up with parents who constantly quarrel and humiliate each other, he begins to consider such behavior normal. He then projects his life experiences onto his relationships. A person does not see anything wrong with toxicity, he is used to this behavior. Therefore, people tend to defend their partners in front of friends and relatives, even if they behave ugly towards them.

Raising common children

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There is an opinion that it is best for a child to grow up in a complete family. But studies have shown that children from families where parents are constantly in conflict are prone to developing mental disorders. The gap is hard on the child, but in time he will be able to survive it. Conflicts between parents that do not stop for many years will hurt him much more.

Besides, divorce is not a reason to abandon a child. The father or mother can constantly see the children and keep in touch with them.

One of the partners owed the other a lot of money

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When people are in a relationship, they are more comfortable with money. They can borrow a large amount for a partner without a receipt, hoping that he will return it anyway. But people subconsciously don't like to part with money, even if they know they have to. They hope that a loved one will forgive them a small delay. Sometimes it drags on for months or years. Relationships during this time can become toxic. But one of the partners will not dare to break them, because he knows that then he will not be able to return his money. Therefore, he continues to endure and wait for the return of the debt.

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People believe in the existence of monogamy

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True love is everyone's dream. We all want to find a loved one with whom we will spend both in sorrow and in joy all our lives. But finding the perfect partner the first time is extremely rare. Therefore, people who believe in monogamy continue to tolerate the unacceptable behavior of their partner, turning a blind eye to his shortcomings.

People don't want to deal with the breakup process

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Many people subconsciously fear conflict and try to avoid it. It seems to them that the problems will be solved by themselves after a while. Therefore, they tolerate the impartial behavior of their partner, trying with all their might to avoid a quarrel. They can withdraw into themselves, spend more time alone. But such people do not dare to talk about the breakup, fearing that their partner will begin to sort things out. They don't understand that happiness is their own responsibility.

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Low self-esteem

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Fear of loneliness is often caused by low self-esteem of one of the partners. It seems to a person that he will not be able to find a new mate. He thinks he's not handsome or interesting enough. Sometimes it happens that the second partner knows about low self-esteem. Moreover, he can deliberately criticize a person, exacerbating the situation. It is extremely difficult to get rid of such a toxic relationship. Therefore, people feel unhappy for many years, but do not dare to break up.

They are blind to their partner's bad behavior

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No wonder they say that love is blind. Studies have shown that people who are in love do downplay their partner's negative traits. They try to unconsciously focus only on the positive qualities, not noticing the shortcomings. These behaviors help them adapt to toxic relationships. They will not notice the temper and aggressiveness of a partner if he is also capable of romantic deeds. People can forgive even insults and assaults by accepting these shortcomings.

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People are afraid of legal and financial difficulties

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These problems occur in people who have been legally married for a long time. To leave, they need to file a full divorce. This process is accompanied by a lot of bureaucratic delays: division of property, registration of custody of children, payment of legal costs. It’s good if the spouses were able to agree and solve everything amicably. But the process could drag on for months if they sue each other.

This prospect scares many couples. They do not want to leave their own comfort zone and start life from scratch. If people live together for more than 10 years, they can endure a lot, but not part. Gradually, they get used to a toxic relationship.

Even couples who have not been legally married may face similar difficulties. If you live together for a long time, you invest a lot of money in your apartment and other property. It is extremely difficult to part with him, so people continue to endure to the last. The situation is aggravated if the couple has common children. One of the partners will have to move out and leave the child. Any loving parent would have a hard time making that decision.

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