You are the center of his universe: Psychologist girlfriend says some seemingly normal guy requests are toxic

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You are the center of his universe: Psychologist girlfriend says some seemingly normal guy requests are toxic
You are the center of his universe: Psychologist girlfriend says some seemingly normal guy requests are toxic
Anonim

Rushing headlong into new relationships, we often put on “rose-colored glasses” and turn off common sense. We admire every action and deed of the chosen one, even the flaws seem so cute. However, one should not be reckless about what is happening. There are some requests that seem innocent at first glance, but actually get us into a toxic relationship. Here are the actions of the guys that should be regarded as warning signs and should not be ignored in any case.

You are the center of the universe for him

Of course, every girl will be madly flattered if her boyfriend devotes all his free time to her, perceives her as the one and only, and does reckless acts. However, don't be fooled. The fact is that every person should be a self-sufficient person. If a guy becomes dependent on you, then he automatically shifts responsibility for his life, for his mental he alth, onto you. He will become insanely obsessive, and when you decide to leave him, he may resort to suicide blackmail.

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Requesting a password for a phone or page on a social network

Sometimes it happens that your partner kind of leads you to the fact that you are a couple and that you should not have secrets. Then why shouldn't he get access to your accounts and gadgets? In fact, this is an invasion of personal space. He does not respect your privacy and does not trust you. How then can you build further relationships?

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You only spend time with his friends

Boyfriend persistently avoids the company of people close to you and is attracted to his friends? This is an alarm bell, signaling that he has no serious plans for you. While you dream of children and marriage, he only sees you as a friend to have a good time with. Refusal to meet your loved ones means that he does not want to become a part of your life.

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Isolates you when you become friends with someone in his group

Of course, as a girl, you want to please his friends. Let's say you made a good impression and even began to communicate closely with someone from your boyfriend's company. And then the boyfriend begins to protect you as much as possible from his environment, not giving you the opportunity to continue further communication. Most likely, he is hiding something from you and is afraid that one of his friends or girlfriends will spill the beans. Or the second option: he does not trust you and is afraid that you will start dating his friend.

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Requires that you change your appearance

There's nothing wrong with a guy saying that he likes you to wear certain clothes, hairstyle, etc. However, when he demands a complete change of image, then this is psychological abuse. All domestic tyrants treat their victims in a similar way: at first they are forced to do something insignificant, and then completely subordinate to their will. Be careful with this guy!

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Demands to spend all free time with him

Of course, at first it is very flattering when a guy is constantly looking for a meeting with you, admits that he would like to always be there. Literally. Every minute and second. Here you need to think about his behavior. Such obsession does not lead to good. In the end, even with relatives or friends, you do not spend absolutely all your free time. Each partner in a couple should have a personal space and be an autonomous person with their own interests, hobbies, social circle, etc.

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He doesn't define your relationship in any way

You must understand what status you are in, who you are for a partner: girlfriend, girlfriend, bride, etc. You must understand the prospect of further development of your relationship. If the guy avoids talking about this topic or says something like: “What's the difference? We are together now, and we feel good,”this is an alarming bell. They hide something from you or make no plans, afraid to say to your face that you are fleeting entertainment.

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He demands compliments

Does your boyfriend only want to hear good things about himself? Does he require you to always praise him, compliment him? This is very bad, because a person does not want to develop and fight with his shortcomings. He wants to turn you into a devoted fan instead of building a harmonious relationship. No one in a couple should be an idol.

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Puts himself above others

Here we are talking about when a guy says that he is more important than your relatives, friends, etc. That is, he demands to recognize him as the center of the universe. No one in the pair should dictate any conditions to the other. Your life should improve, not be filled with new problems. A partner who loves and respects you simply will not dare to put you in front of such a difficult choice: they say, or me, or them. He althy relationships have balanced priorities.

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Asks to turn a blind eye to petty lies

Small lies lead to very big deceit. No matter how you try to convince yourself otherwise and at first forgive your partner for a lie, in the future you will encounter not only a lie, but also a serious betrayal. These people usually don't change. The only thing you can do when you first catch your partner in a lie is to teach him a lesson that he will remember for a long time. That is, do not forgive him, but even temporarily end the relationship. Perhaps he will rethink something and draw conclusions.

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He hides his finances

No one says that a boyfriend should disclose his income to you. Especially at first, this is inappropriate. However, when he constantly says that he is “broken”, that he is in a difficult financial situation, that he is out of work, etc., while wearing designer clothes and buying the latest gadgets, then there is reason to think. Perhaps he is addicted to gambling or got into big debts.

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