Solo parenting: how a single mom can raise a happy child and not lose herself

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Solo parenting: how a single mom can raise a happy child and not lose herself
Solo parenting: how a single mom can raise a happy child and not lose herself
Anonim

In modern society, there are a number of stereotypes regarding the upbringing of children in the family, one of which concerns single mothers. Everyone knows such a phrase as "a child needs a father", as well as "who will need you with a child?".

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However, the number of women who raise children without a husband is growing day by day. For some, this is a conscious choice, while for others - an unfavorable combination of circumstances. How can single moms prevent the orthodox environment from ruining their lives and giving their children a decent upbringing?

Problem one: public pressure

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When the public is indignant, proclaiming that a child cannot be happy in an incomplete family, that without a father a boy will not grow up to be a real man, you need to disregard labeling. Don't make excuses and feel inferior. Since otherwise the woman withdraws into herself, avoids contact with the outside world. Trust more in yourself, your opinion and your choice. Surround yourself with people who don't pressure you. Otherwise, you will push your own life into the background.

Problem two: loneliness

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This is one of the main problems that poison the existence of a single mother. She lacks physical and moral support, she does not feel a man's shoulder, she cannot consult about pressing problems. And this traumatizes the psyche, especially if the environment does not pay enough attention to it. In this regard, there are three rules to remember.

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  1. Don't run away from the problem, accept forced loneliness calmly as a temporary situation and use it to your advantage.
  2. Find the positives in being alone by making a list of 10 items. For example, the opportunity to retire, to be creative, freedom of desire.
  3. Be active. Find new leisure, new acquaintances, fill the void.

Thus, one must find not only the negative, but also the positive in solitude, the possibility of renewal.

Problem three: feeling guilty towards your child

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You need to realize the fact that it carries a destructive power. Often a woman does not understand that the problem lies in her unhe althy psychological state. And not at all in the absence of a father and not in the fact that she does not give something to her son or daughter. The problem is remorse. You need to understand that a mother crushed by guilt cannot be happy. This means that her children cannot be happy either.

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Problem Four: Single-Sex Parenting

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The personality of the child is formed in accordance with the female type of upbringing. This question arises with particular relevance if the father is completely absent from the life of the child. A bias in one direction creates difficulties in the further self-identification of a person. In this regard, it is necessary to involve friends, male relatives in the process of educating. Let your offspring go to the movies with his grandfather, do homework with his uncle, go camping with his older brother and his friends. You should not, if possible, neglect communication with your father, even despite the insults.

Problem Five: haste in personal relationships

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Do not rush to urgently look for a new dad for the child or, on the contrary, try on the crown of celibacy. Take a timeout, listen to your inner state. Understand if you are ready to build a new relationship. Figure out what drives you: loneliness, guilt, or still the desire to become a happy woman. If you refuse to arrange your personal life, think about what such a decision is based on, is it the fear of disappointment or the fear of making the child jealous? Or are you afraid to repeat the previous situation? Is this decision reasonable? When making a decision, be honest with yourself, follow the main rule: "A happy mother has a happy child."

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